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Neighbors need to think before they speak

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Neighbors need to think before they speak

Post by Sessy on Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:46 am

So, I was out with my kids the other day and my 11 year old daughter who has autism is playing on the side walk and this woman who lives about four houses up from us comes walking down the side walk towards my daughter. Now, my daughter is super friendly and knows no strangers, and well this woman isn't really a stranger anyway. So Aut, calls her by name and says hi to her. The woman says hi back and spends a couple minutes talking to Aut at which point Aut say something about the womans hair being pink. Now, when I say pink, I don't mean like a couple cute pink highlights, and I don't mean a kind of subtle pink. No, this woman's hair is Bright pink! Seriously, it looked like mount peptobismal erupted on her head!
She looks at my 11 year old autistic child, a child that she knows is autistic not that it's not apparent when you talk to her, but my point being this isn't someone who possibly doesn't understand the severity of her condition. This woman has known us for going on 3 years! So anyway, she says to her, "Yeah my hair is pink. Do you like it?" Aut says yes she likes it, and the woman then tells her, "Well, maybe ask your daddy and he can dye your hair pink too."
Then she smiles, waves, and walks off...leaving us to deal with the aftermath of this conversation which is, Aut then proceeding to SCREAM for the next hour and a half about wanting her hair dyed bright fucking pink! I told her no over and over again which only made her scream more so we ended up with a compromise of me getting this kids hair color that washes out, and it's dark purple, which doesn't show up in her hair quite as bad as manic panic pink would. I wasn't overly happy about doing the purple but it was the only way to get her to stop screaming and I figured it wasn't permanent so what could it hurt.

The moral to this story, if you come across a child that is idk I'd personally say, not yet a teenager, and especially one that has any form of developmental disability, consult the parents first before suggesting the child do anything to their hair that the parents may not allow or approve of!

I personally have a rule that any hair coloring, perms, or ear piercings will not happen before the age of 16. So the fact that this woman told my daughter to ask me to dye her hair really pissed me off, not to mention the fact that once you put an idea in my daughters head, it's not easily removed.

Raven told me that I was over reacting that the neighbor woman just didnt know that Aut gets obsessive about things. Well, yeah ok, I get that, BUT once again she should have discussed it with me first!

Yeah she doesn't know what aut is like when she gets an idea in her head but she also doesnt know what my rules are or what I think is appropriate for a child 11 years old. I just think she should have considered that before bringing it up. It may perfectly fine in her family, but it's not in mine and she shouldn't just assume that it is.

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Re: Neighbors need to think before they speak

Post by EveAnora on Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:01 am

I agree with you that your neighbors should have asked first before suggesting that to your daughter. I doubt that she meant any harm or disrespect, she probably just didn't really think about whether or not you would want your daughters hair dyed as its a very common thing for kids to do these days. With any typically developing child I don't think it would have been an issue but with your daughter's intellectual delays I can see where it was a problem. Perhaps just ask your neighbor to discuss things with you first in the future rather than saying them to your daughter, and explain to her the reason for it. I'm sure she will be understanding about the situation. Good Luck Smile

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